My late father was the director of a sleepaway camp. He is a legend at that camp. Somewhere in the early 70’s, he moved the camp to a new location.
Til this day, fifty years later, we still call the camp “the new camp,” and we call the old camp “the old camp,” even though the old camp is now a development of condos and not a camp anymore. Recently, I was at the annual fundraiser for our beloved camp. I was overwhelmed by what my father’s actions and dreams had accomplished. I felt his presence that night and wondered if this would have made him feel content. Funny thing about legacy, we want it but don’t always have the privilege to see it or
experience it in its glory.
“Ms.,” she asked me. “What is a legacy? My case manager told me I should think about what kind of legacy I want to leave behind me.”
She added, “I dunno. I don’t want to leave nothing behind. I want to be here, now, and tomorrow.”
As usual, my students are more profound than I could ever be.
“Girl, think about how you want to be remembered,” someone said.
“What would you want your kids to think about when they think about you?” someone asked.
“Nothing!” she said. “I want to be with my kids. Don’t want to NOT be with them. Don’t want them to fucking think about me. I want them to be with me,” she said. “You hear me? I want to be clean. I don’t want to be locked up. I want to be present. That is my legacy, being here!”
It got quiet.
She looked at me and asked, “Ms., can that be my legacy?”
“Your legacy can be whatever you want it to be. It is yours!” I answer.
This woman was locked up for a long time. So much time lost. So much time to make up. I get it. Who wants to imagine not being here when you have been away for so long? After class, the woman came up to me.
“Ms., I can’t have no legacy ‘cause I wasn’t here. I just got out.”
She is so beautiful. Real. She IS a legacy of her own.
“Your legacy is happening right now. Don’t worry about it. It happens from the dreams you have and the people you love.”
My father had great dreams. He had ideals. He wanted things for other people. He had deep beliefs. His beliefs have lived on and grown to become so much bigger than I am sure he could ever have imagined. In the crazy way life works, I have the privilege to witness them and see my children live to be part of his vision. So it is with legacy. It turns into what we cannot imagine.
“Ms., can I have a simple legacy? Does it have to be big?”
I look at this woman. She has lived through so much and is trying so hard.
She is living proof that we are more than the mistakes we have made and that a legacy is what we choose it to be.
“You are your legacy. You are living it by just being you. I want to be like you,” I tell her.
“Ms., stop playing. That is shit talk.”
“No,” I say. “It is legacy talk.”
“I guess I have one now.” She smiles.
“Yup, you do.” We share a long hug.
Happy holidays, friends!
Live your legacy. Be present.
Please know it is so much simpler than we make it out to be.
Let 2023 lead you to who and what you want to be, and be proud, even if you make some mistakes on the way.
That is your legacy.
